snoopdeer:

my friend lost his mobile the other day so i asked if he wanted me to phone him and he said it was on silent so there was no way of finding it and i said well if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it 

he didn’t laugh and he didn’t find his phone

at school me: I'm in favor of abortion, i don't give a fuck for what women do with their body,it's a personal problem.
classmate: in accordance with the law this is murder, and I agree with the law.
me: yeah, i agree with a law also
classmate: what law?
me: one that says I can stab you with my pen.